


"If You Knew..."

by alamxrt



Series: Riku and Alec's Bizarre Adventure(s) [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:17:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8315395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alamxrt/pseuds/alamxrt
Summary: If you knew what I REALLY was, would you                        ———-abandon me?





	

        Rikuto was not a calm man. Like a fire, he could not remain in one place for too long. He was fidgety, anxiety ridden, and completely unable to stand or sit still. He supposed that was why he was constantly checking his wrists. Why he always had to pull up the sleeve of his jacket whenever he got a certain itch.  
  
_At a young age, he found he was also not a very patient man, either._  
  
        He didn't know whether it was because he'd already lost his chance with Belial or if his soulmate simply wasn't born yet, but he was becoming tired of it. If they could just show up already, he could get them out of his life again. If he could just meet them long enough to feel that rush - the rush of invigoration that he felt whenever he got near a soulmate, then he would be fine. He would be set for years upon years. It was just something about soulmates that made a person feel a sudden adrenaline rush that never ended. He couldn't explain it, but it felt _good._ He'd learned that every time he was around Belial. Except, in those instances, it was a severely warped version of the feeling. It made him anxious, nauseous. Early on, he decided it was not a good feeling.  
  
        And just like that, the uncorrupted feeling rushed through him again. His veins flared with fire and blood that he'd never felt before - he felt like he were drunk and on cloud nine at the same time. A high, dizzy kind of feeling, like the world was spinning and he could finally recognise it. Like he was floating in an ocean of words unspoken and _enjoying it._  
  
        He felt his wrist burn, prompting him to yank his sleeve up his arm and bite into it with his teeth to keep it there. He stared down at the number, scrawled in handwriting he didn't recognize - above it, a number crossed out, amounted to the number of years his older brother had on him. _Five._ The new number was a pleasant sight among the scars already covering his wrist. Not that far off, either, it seemed - at least not to him. His soulmate must've felt differently, though, just being born and welcomed into the world by their parents as he stared aimlessly at his wrist.  
  
        He wondered if their wrist had his own age. Impossible, he decided, their wrist simply wouldn't be big enough to contain his entire age. He was much older than anything anyone had ever seen before. His soulmate would've probably just had an infinity symbol on their wrist - or worse, nothing at all. Would they live life waiting for him to show up, thinking he didn't exist at all? Thinking he was dead? As he paced the street, he asked those questions to himself.  
  
        He meets the kid when they - he - is still just a scamp. Still a child, but very much of legal age. He'd an adult that looks like he has enough energy to cover both of them, to take care of that old feeling that Riku feels in the pit of his stomach. He knows he's old, recognises it when he looks in the mirror. He's far too old to have a soulmate that's not even a quarter hsis age, but he deals with it for now. At least until introductions are out of the way. Once those are done, then he can be, too.  
  
        Alec is something of a free spirit to Riku. Uninhibited by the world and completely _alive._ He doesn't think he's seen anyone like Alec - at least, anyone who's as genuine as Alec is. He knows through Alec's body language, the way he talks, the way he acts, that he has nothing to hide and he learns that whenever he speaks to him. He learns that Alec thought he didn't exist or that he was dead, he learns that Alec is also very easy to bring down from the happiness he feels. If anything, Riku begins to build him up from that point.  
  
        _He tells himself it's a bad idea from the start._  
  
        And he doesn't take his own advice.  
  
        As he sits, patiently explaining the basics of Japanese, hoping to break the language barrier between them, he listens to Alec repeat his words and nod understandingly. At least the kid can learn things pretty easily - easier than most humans that Riku's interacted with. But most humans he's been around have all been idiots, so he's not surprised.  
  
        And then Alec takes his turn to shock Riku into silence.  
  
        _"Why are you so pessimistic?"_ Alec asks, the strained and unfamiliar language making his words jumble together slightly.  
  
        Riku sits back on his haunches, licking his lips as he mulls his answer. There are many floating around in his head and he's not sure which would sit right with Alec. His brother has never been one to really understand his implications, even when Riku outright told him "I hate you" from the start. Alec just kept trying. _At least he's determined._  
  
        _Because then it doesn't hurt so much when everything falls apart._  
  
        He doesn't say anything on the subject and simply continued with the lesson, snapping Alec's attention elsewhere to simply keep him focused on the language he was starting to teach.  
  
        A few minutes later, he hears Alec mumble something. He asks what it was, simply staring his little brother down curiously, eyes hiding the attentiveness he holds.  
  
        _"You can trust me,"_ Alec repeats, cautious about his words as he grips his sweatpants with his nails digging into the fabric, nervous with his stomach tying into knots They've been brothers years now, already well acquainted and knowledgable about each other to an extent that Riku will allow.  
  
        Riku holds his breath, steeling himself with his jaw setting tightly and his gaze holding firm, hardening as soon as he recognizes the words. Alec's Japanese is still not perfect, but he understands it well enough. He knows his next few words will strike home and get the message across, so he speaks fluently in English to solidify that knowledge.  
  
        _"I can't."_  
  
        Silence fills the room as Alec's gaze shoots up to meet Riku's, simply finding an empty room in his brother's stead. He almost thinks he's imagined it all until he spots the note that Riku has left behind for him.  
  
        _Work harder on your studies._  
  
        He takes it to heart.  
  
        Later on, when Alec is tucking himself into bed, Riku working diligently at the desk in his room, between the scrawling of a pencil on paper, Alec hears words that make him sit up a little more. It has been weeks since their last lesson together and with what he has been through recently, it feels even longer. It was amazing how torture could do that to a person.  
  
        _"You can trust me,"_ Riku repeats Alec's words, still lazily writing imperfect English phrases down on the paper in that messy, scratchy hand writing of his.  
  
        It breaks Alec's heart to say it, but whenever he replies, he simply finds the words easier to get across than a full explanation.  
  
_"I can't,"_ he mimics Riku's tone with an added voice crack and a bit of hesitation at the beginning. He doesn't like saying the words, he can't even believe he says them, but he hears them and he knows tat he must've actually spoken or else he would've still heard Riku writing at the desk. Instead, he's greeted to a dark room and silence once more. He should be able to trust his brother, but after all that he's been through, he finds it hard to trust anyone.  
  
        And in the quietness of the night and the welcome, albeit sombre and eerily acceptable embrace of the stars, Riku can swear he feels his heart break just a little more than usual.  
  
        _He refuses to believe those words came from the same person he used to know._


End file.
